So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The air was thick with penises
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
