if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize