I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
