It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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