she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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