Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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