Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
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Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
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I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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