My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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