when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize