You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize