It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize