no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
