whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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