you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
