Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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