Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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