I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
