Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize