He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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