We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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