2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Say something about gay babies.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
