oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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