Your face is a jimmy john
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
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I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
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I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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