he wants to bone in the snuggie
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
