I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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