I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
