Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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