Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
His hands were made for my vagina.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
