i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
