im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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