thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize