Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
