Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
