Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
