i just identified you from a description of your pipe
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
