I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
please come you make the beer taste better
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize