I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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