How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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