We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
