I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize