Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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