I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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