whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
