I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
