Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
