I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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