I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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