"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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