A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
