Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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