They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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