lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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