Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
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I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
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We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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