This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize