Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
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We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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