I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
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I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
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I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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