how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
