Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
