Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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