We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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