I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize