so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
