come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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