Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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